A Little Update

Where in high school I'd usually start studying for a testweek about two, maybe three days in advance, I still have 7 days until I have to complete my first real uni exam and to be really honest with you: every time I think about it, I get a mini-panic attack. Even though I feel like I'm quite up-to-date I get dizzy when trying to remember my first lecture, because I seem to have forgotten  all about everything the professor told us. I also am quite the scatterbrain when it comes to taking notes: when I look back at the randomly collected words I quickly jotted down that's all what they are - I can barely call them sentences.



I don't know if you recognize this - taking notes and not understanding what you tried to tell your future-self, being in a state of complete stress before a testweek: these are the most prominent things in my life right now. Of course I do fun stuff (I met up with Teske and I'll meet Sophie on Friday, woohoo!) but where I spoke and wrote quite a lot about the living-in-Amsterdam-part, I now am finally experiencing the studying-part. And that's nice - even though it sometimes doesn't feel like it, that's the most important reason why I'm here.

To be very honest, I didn't expect my study to be so hard and so time-consuming. I do like having to work hard for something, though - but I don't it to be for nothing. I am struggling with one of the two subjects I have - I do not find it interesting at all and that's why I'm having a hard time concentrating on it, which results in me not understanding the literature we have to read. I'm quite scared of failing that exam - but that actually motivates me to work even harder. (Too bad this effect has only started to appear yesterday, and not 8 weeks ago when I could still fix the terrible situation I now am in). 

Being so busy doesn't leave much time for thinking loads. Back when I lived in Amsterdam and had no job and no university obligations yet, I had too much time to think about unpleasant things. I feel like I finally found some balance. Where at first I really missed my parents when I was in Amsterdam, that has gotten a lot better (I'm sorry, mom) - I know it's nice when I'm at my parents' house and I can really look forward to being there - but I can finally enjoy being in my little student room as well. And that's nice - I finally have two homes instead of one home and one room I rent to be closer to university.

Another thing I'm thoroughly enjoying at this moment, is you. You? Yup! Sweet comments on Instagram photos make me so happy and the blogpost I recently published ('what made me happy') received some inspiring and motivating comments as well. Even though I love writing about baking cookies and recipes and other lifestyle-related stuff, I love blogging about life in general even more. Being a blogger brought me lots of beautiful things - new friends, little moments of happiness where I realize that there are people who actually read the articles I (yes I!) publish - and more of that. Where some people (and even friends) don't get my little obsession (maybe I should call it passion) that is blogging ('so.. you sometimes post a recipe on your page called 'Lemontierres', how do you even pronounce that by the way?') - I'm sure you'll understand - because well, you're still reading this. Thank you. <3

And that's actually the reason why I'm currently writing this message. A little update about my life and a little thank-you to you. I'll have plenty of time for photography projects and baking cookies and other fun-related things after my exam week - but for now you'll find me covered in books, articles I still have to read and pens. I really enjoy studying hard - but only for a little while. I'm looking forward to the 23d of October, 15:00h - the moment on which I will (hopefully) leave the exam room for the first time with a tired, but content feeling.

thank you - and have a nice day

11 comments

  1. Hello, hang in there and all the best with your exams!

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  2. It's so nice to have a little update on your life. I'm happy that you found some balance in your life right now where you're studying and working hard. I can't say I have that write now but I'm so happy you're happy and that makes me very happy Sjoukje! <3

    Also, I don't know if I told you this before but I am completely in love with your photography!

    xx Bash | Hey Bash | bloglovin'

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  3. Studying for uni exams sucks, I learn longer for one random uni exam than I have for any of my final school exams. However, it's managable and I wish you all the best of luck and strength and motivation to get through this! Take your time, you'll make it! :) Isa x

    darjeelingtealeaves.blogspot.com

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  4. Dit vind ik leuk!

    Trouwens, Sjoukje, ik weet precies hoe je je voelt zo met al de tentamenstress. I'm in over my head, too. Maar het komt goed. Ik geloof dat we het redden, als we onze best doen. You made it this far, you can make it another mile :* Liefs, Lisa

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  5. So lovely to hear that little things like comments uplift people or brighten their day, they do the same for me! If I get an email notification of a comment or a nice instagram comment it always makes me smile.

    www.thesundaymode.blogspot.com.au

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  6. Hoi Sjoukje, heb je wel eens een mindmap gemaakt van de stof die je moet leren? Dat geeft je een manier om de stof te ordenen en geeft rust omdat je er snel achter komt wat je al begrijpt en waar nog gaten zitten. Gewoon met pen/ stiften en papier, je hoeft geen tool ervoor te zoeken. Succes!

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    1. Hoi Kim,
      Ten eerste, wat leuk om te zien dat je mijn blog leest! :-) en erg bedankt voor de tip, dat deed ik op de middelbare school veel maar ik had me niet bedacht dat dat nu ook kon. Ik zal het eens proberen! Dankjewel.
      Liefs!

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  7. I really liked your picture. It's random but organized at the same time. Sorta like you ;) Your fears are well-founded for you know how you are so at least your prepared as far as studying and testing. Being much older than you I'll try and give some advice about that. Sounds wierd but I will study backwards after studing the first time. At least that worked when I was learning the driver's manual. Don't be too hard on youself for this won't last forever. +Grandma Rose

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    1. Hi there Sheryl, first of all, thanks for your tip! Second of all - it's so funny you noticed the way I put my picture together - those were exactly my thoughts! Organized, but random at the same time.

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  8. Wishing you all the best with your exam Sjoukje, I know you'll do well!! University exams can be intimidating however, so no judgements from me!! I'm glad to hear you now feel like your school room is a home.. It just keeps getting better every time you write about it! Great!

    Much Love!!!
    -Stephanie Eva

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