Years fly by so incredibly terribly scarily quickly. I don't really attach importance to new years because when banging fireworks announce the beginning of January, I won't be a new person all of a sudden - yet the beginning of a new year always makes me stop. Stop and think about what I've accomplished in the past year, stop and wonder about what the new year will bring me. I don't create lists of new year's resolutions anymore because I never ever started working out more or working harder or relaxing more - I'll see what kind of goodness the new year brings me.
2015 has been an exciting year in my still quite short little life. I graduated from high school and finally didn't have to defy the building I hated so much - and especially the atmosphere in it - 5 days a week anymore. A long summer break followed - a summer break in which I packed boxes, so so many boxes, drove to Amsterdam with my parents and put together a table and chairs and a closet in a tiny room which would soon be 'home'. It didn't feel like home for a long time, though, but that feeling gradually changed - and after almost 6 months I can finally say that I feel good in my new house.
2015 has been important for me on a personal level as well. I have always been a quiet girl and shyness and sometimes even shame of who I was came with being quiet. I have become so much happier with the person I am in the past few months - I have finally stopped wishing for a personality that would make me cooler or more spontaneous or more social and I am now content with the Sjoukje who loves books and likes to write and sometimes stares into the distance for a bit too long and thinks a lot and can be extremely enthusiastic about very simple things as well.
I met many people who bring out the best in me. People to whom I don't have to apologize when I stop to take one (or a hundred) photos, people who don't think I'm weird when I say a dozen things that make sense in my mind but not so much when formulated as words, and people who almost are just like me. And that is nice, so comfortably nice.
When I look back at 2015 I see a happy year. A year of misfortunes, obviously, events and things I don't discuss on my blog or in general. But where I let misfortunes overshadow the beautiful moments in the past, I look back at the past 12 months with a content feeling. I hope 2016 will bring me even more beauty: more easy afternoons with people I feel comfortable being around, more beautiful experiences that make me feel more like me, and more moments of being able to sit down and realize that my life isn't that bad at all. I hope for beautiful books, pleasing photos to which I can look back with a smile once I'm a shrunken little grandma, for fits of laughter but also for moments of absolute and comfortable silence.